Ordinary Nothing

Yes, it’s time for yet another post of some quality phrases people typed into search engines, which by some odd search-engine logic decided to turn them in the direction of this blog. Remember, folks, any of these underlined lines was actually typed into a search engine by a real person. Then followed by my own incredibly helpful and witty commentary. Heck, it’s always amazing to see what people are searching for on the Internet.

sex fully clothed
I suppose it’s technically possible (depending on how strict you are with “fully”), but, er… why?

free porn the cost nothing
There’s plenty of free porn on the Internet, but to expect it to also cost nothing is too much.

simple explanation why computers do not translate better from language to language
Computers do not understand context. Actually, computer translation programs do not understand, period. The programs can check words, and common phrases against a dictionary. They can do all sorts of wonderful calculations to try and estimate what is the meaning of the sentence, and which of many possible translations of each word is correct. But they can’t do it right. Language is too complex for anyone nowadays to be able to fully describe by a set of algorithms. Not to mention two languages.

let my daughter drive
Ha! Like I’m going to trust your daughter with a ton and a half of metal at high speed… I don’t think so.

bad things about north korea
You should be ashamed of yourself. If you go to the Internet to look up stuff about North Korea, at least start impartial and give them a chance. Yes, you’ll find plenty of bad things, don’t worry about that for a second. But why start with a negative attitude?

email addressbook of all google users
Those things are actually not published. A shame, I know, but there is a good reason for it. If there was a page with the email addresses of all Google users, then bad and evil spammers (not that there is any other kind of spammers) will use those address and send them spam.

how to send spam to yahoo inbox not bulk
For example, like this person here, who probably found email addresses of some Yahoo users instead. Listen, creep, your spam should go to the bulk folder. Actually, your spam shouldn’t go anywhere. You should stop sending spam. Seriously. If it’s hard for you to live without sending spam, well, that can be solved as well.

oversexed civilization
I wonder how Star Trek would have looked like if someone had made this slight change to the the opening text: “to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new oversexed civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before.”

alcohol and its effect on mexicans
At first it makes them slightly happy, and slightly reduces inhibitions. Then it make them lose coordination, inhibitions, and several levels of intelligent. Add even more alcohol, and they may puke, and lose consciousness, not necessarily in that order. Proceed for a long duration of time, and liver disease may get into the fray as well. One thing, though, that works pretty much the same even for non Mexicans. Seriously.

scientific soap operas damage brain
That may very well be true. Certainly the thought of anyone making a scientific soap opera boggles the mind. Still, you may remain calm, there are no scientific soap operas airing these days. Nor will there be in the future, trust me on that.

round flat shoelaces conspiracy
Never ascribe to malice what can be explained by simple corporate stupidity. They are not out to get you. They are just out to get a quick buck, and are doing it badly.

idiotic research
It sure is.

us visa till 2010 but in cancelled passport
If you mean expired passport, that’s no problem. You just need to take with you both the new passport, and the passport with the visa. The official attitude is that “If you have a valid visa, simply carry the old passport with the valid visa on it with the new passport and present both passports at the port of entry to the US. Your length of stay will be limited by a validity of your passport.” If the passport was really cancelled, because your country doesn’t want to let you out, well, that’s a whole different ballgame, and I can’t help you there. Though, for a certain reasonable fee, I’m sure something could be arranged…

afraid to hang out with friends
Get new friends. Better yet, go check the dictionary definition of friend, it may enlighten you a bit.

cars made out of ordinary things
Maybe this guy could help, I certainly can’t.

No bulk folder appears on yahoo mail
That’s a bad interface design on their part. When you open a new mailbox, the Bulk folder doesn’t show up until there is an actual message caught that should be delivered to the Bulk folder. Then the folder is created, and stays put. It’s confusing, inconsistent, annoying, and took me some time to figure out myself at firs. But have no fear, many kind spammers are doing their best to make sure that the Bulk folder will be created for you as soon as possible.

siht of the witches
I’m afraid all the witches I asked have adamantly refused to tell me anything about their siht. Must be a trade secret or something.

shania twain’s hard nipples
Sorry, I like her for her voice, not her body. And, please, the women is married, let it go man, let it go.

Is it legal to keep strippers boyfriend from entering club
Depends. Some places give clubs full discretion as to which clients to admit. But business is business, so I don’t think that being a boyfriend of one of the exhibits is a good reason. After all, if the guy is willing to pay to see what he can see for free at home, that’s his problem, and the club’s benefit. On the other hand, there’s nothing illegal about making bad business decisions. On the other hand, other places forbid clubs from barring entry to anyone, and that would include the boyfriend. Check the relevant laws and regulation where the club is.

politically correct language of air crash
That’s a very touch one. I’ll try Avionically Challenged. Or, if you want a longer version, maybe something like consummate failure to maintain separation between airplane chasis and geographical terrain.

today is my birthday on 24th june i want what will happen this year in my life i want the details by astrologers
Thank you for providing all the details. I’m sure the search engine really appreciated it. One detail of your life I can already provide you with is that you didn’t find any relevant topic, because the poor search engine had to match too many irrelevant words. But that’s beside the point. Happy birthday! Now, since you’re a grown up, it’s about time to teach you something about life and the universe you live in. Consider this educational tidbit to be my birthday present to you. Here goes: Nobody, not even astrologers, not even vedic astrologers, not even vedic astrologer with a Ph.D. in vedic astrology from a science dept. in an Indian university, can predict the future. Especially not in details. Sorry.

July 11th, 2005 at 23:49 EET | Categories: Weblogs | Track comments. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.